BICARA DARI HATI- white rose

I close my eyes

Sometimes, I just lie staring up at a ceiling caked with dust and I hope that the next moment will not come

Or the moment after that

But it always comes and I continue to lie here. Staring.

I lie here shattered and without hope without possibility and all I have left are memories

I could become singular and separate from the world around me

But the memories are there and I am not alone not alone enough

I wait for the end that will never come

I am broken

My body
My mind
My future
My thoughts

I don't remember the pain

I do remember the fear

I didn't think they'd ever stop
I never made a sound

I didn't cry out or ask them to stop even when they crushed my head

I didn't move for a very long time

Very quietly

There was pain

There was only numbness and silence

There had to be

But I don't remember it